I’m trying to get above ‘it.’ Pain, poverty, tears, and the blues. I can’t let them to me what they did to my mom’s street. She used to think it was beautiful, and then with a few years of destructive politics, the powers that be destroyed the true essence and the hue of our neighborhoods. Now we’re left with a generation of lost souls in the bodies of kids who don’t know what to be.

I wonder how cool the kid is who stays in my room at the house I used to live in on East 22nd Street in Little Rock. Part of me wishes we could session on life or beats or just skate or something… maybe part of my spirit that existed in that dwelling is still there, even after is burned down and was re-built.

Maybe that’s what needs to happen to this so-called ‘great’ organization we call America. Sometimes the only way to truly rebuild something to standard is to completely tear it down and assess where we faulted the foundation. I don’t want to get into a political scene though. This girl who skates and paints on the side of the off-ramps and the belly of freeway passages is going to read this and appreciate me being conservative. lol.

I don’t know where that came from, but I always wanted to run into a super cool chick that does really understand ‘love’ whether it’s between a person and a person, or a person and a medium. I’ve dated several women, claiming to have understood… my love for H.E.R. Then we talk about ‘stuff’ and she reveals that she knows nothing and cares little, and though I want to blame her I can’t because she wants to be number one… in the same way she can’t blame H.E.R. because she just wants to live. And I say it’s better to live… than to fall in ‘like.’

I’m hungry. I think I’m going to go grab some food. The only problem with ‘thinking’ is my brain always goes into the most drastic process of thinking that sometimes it’s better to just jump into the traffic of life… and hope I don’t get hit by a car… speaking of cars… I just thought of myself walking along the road to get some breakfast… and a car on the roadside… explodes. Everything slows down and we realize that the everyday aesthetic of living in a third world country has now come to our front door. I don’t know how people would deal with knowing that ‘that’ sense of security (America) has been shattered… but we somehow are able to deal with school shooting and rape. Maybe because it’s not loud, do we just turn the deaf ear.

I don’t know what I’m thinking, but I’m definitely at the point where I want to share my unadulterated thoughts with you all… in song and in blog. lol. That was deep. lol. I also wanted to take the time to say thanks for the positive feedback from the last song I posted…. I wonder what would happen if you visited my page right now… hmmmm.

since-really yours,

know:juander
zzzZZZZZZzzzz. out